So, any Borgs out there who remember that tagline from Star Trek? That's been the theme of the end of my week as well as the path out of my four week illness.
There's nothing like having a teacher who can point out the circles of your own thoughts. Everybody needs someone like this. Just like all of us as writers need someone else to see our work and help us move it to the next level.
On Tuesday, I went to see Cain, frustrated and angry that I was still sick after four weeks – that I still had little energy – that I had no interest in doing anything – and that, damnit, I should be able to just get through it and be done.
Our conversation went something like this:
Me: Blah, blah, blah, blah, integrate, blah, blah, coughing, blah, blah.
Cain: More.
Me: Blah, blah, blah things fighting inside of me, blah blah North Carolina, blah, blah house.
Cain: More.
Me: Blah, bleck, bleck, blah, inner child, frightened, blah, blah.
Cain: Not reality.
Me: Huh?
Cain: More.
Me: Blah, blah, energy, book, crying, can't, blah, blah.
Cain: (nodding serenely)
Me: Huh?
Cain: Tell me about the book.
Me: Young adult, Dee, got the whole book from our visit to my house in North Carolina, energy transmission, blah, blah, scared.
Cain: More.
Me: I'm afraid if I write this book, if I go back to visit the place in myself when I was seven and Dad got sick ... I'm afraid I'll get stuck. I got stuck for 20 years.
Cain: (more nodding)
Me: Can I go there and come back?
Cain: You're not the same person you were then.
Me: Yeah.
Cain: So how could it be the same? You're resisting what you've been given. Of course you're going to feel like shit. You're fighting what the universe has given you. I've noticed it only gives us just enough rope to play with. The time always comes when it tells you exactly where you need to go.
Me: Yeah.
Cain: So I can't think of a more powerful example of attraction then the way you were pulled back into your house in North Carolina. You say you got the whole book in one swoop.
Me: Like two seconds. I touched a doorknob.
Cain: The whole download.
Me:The whole thing.
Cain: So we're always given exactly what we need in the exact way we need it to be able to do the work. If you hadn't gotten the whole book at once you might not be willing to do the work because you wouldn't trust you'd be able to get back from that place. If you'd have gotten it twenty years from now you might be too far along to get back to being seven. It's always perfect.
Me: Blah, blah.
Whatever.
There was more, but it's not relevant to this post.
Suffice to say, within hours my congestion was gone. Suffice to say the book is almost finished in such a short time (a whole book in four weeks?) Draft, I'll say for sure, but nonetheless, a book.
Whatever.
Blah, blah.
Resistance is futile.
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3 comments:
My favorite borg line was "you will be assimilated," and I always reveled in the idea that I would never assimilate. Here you are fighting that assimilation into your past, and you, as you know and Cain reminded you, be fine . . . you move so smoothly forward that nothing could pull you back. Way to go for not assimilating into yourself . . . love you.
Gata- May the force be with you, amiga...xoxo
"Everything happens for a reason!" Then, why should we worry about anything? I guess there isn't really a reason. That was easy!
p.s. One of the names that I've always thought would be great for a short story...Jericho Cane. Sounds tough huh, real badass.
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