Friday, August 6, 2010

Helpful Hints For Your Weekend


Keith bought a new Toyota last weekend. We spent many a fun hour reading the owner's manual. The result are these tidbits for your weekend fun.

Toyota is not responsible for injury or death resulting from not following directions.

When napping in your vehicle, remember to turn your engine off.

Keep limbs within the vehicle at all times.

Caution: Coffee may be hot. Use extreme caution when enjoying this beverage.

Do not drive while drinking a beverage of any sort. Sudden stops and changes in traffic patterns may cause you to spill.  (In the unlikely event of a change in cabin pressure, please put the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others.)

It is illegal to drive while drinking an alcoholic beverage or while intoxicated. Doing this may result in injury, death, or imprisonment.

Do not drive with the parking brake on.

Familiarize yourself with the location of the pedals. Use your right foot to depress the accelerator. (Note: We have fixed the spontaneous acceleration problem. No worries.) Use your left foot to depress the brake. Do not attempt to drive if you are unfamiliar with your left and right feet and their assigned pedals.

When driving in inclement weather, use caution. Failure to do so may result in injury or death.

If vehicle catches on fire, exit the vehicle promptly.

Toyota is not responsible for injury or death resulting from not exiting the vehicle in case of fire.

Do not drive this vehicle into standing water. Do not attempt to drive this vehicle into the ocean.  Doing this will void the warranty.

Use only unleaded gas. Failure to do so will damage the engine, void the warranty, and possibly result in injury or death.

Your vehicle is equipped with front and side airbags. Do not place children in the front seat. Doing this may result in injury or death. Toyota is not responsible for this.

Remember, Kohl's cash is not legal tender and may not be used for making payments on this vehicle.

This vehicle is not a toy. Only licensed operators may legally drive this vehicle. Toyota is not responsible for accidents, injuries, or deaths caused by unlicensed drivers.

If you are passing more people than are passing you, you are driving too fast.

Toyota is not responsible for that either.

We value your business. Please enjoy this Starbuck's coupon.

But not while driving. We are not responsible. (See page 13)

1 comment:

RN said...

These are FUNNY!!! many thanks for putting a smile on my face.